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Now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s all roses—sometimes ya get a creep who don’t know boundaries, and I’m sittin’ there, madder’n a wet hen, yellin’ in my head, “Back off, jackass!” But when it’s good? Whoo, it’s like “the pale man” ain’t got nothin’ on this pleasure. Slap some oil on, let ‘er rip, and you’re golden! Git-R-Done! Ever tried it? Bet ya ain’t, ya chicken! Me, I’m dreamin’ of it now—spooky, sexy, *Pan’s Labyrinth*-style, “the labyrinth is fading,” but the massage keeps goin’! Y’all need this in yer life, I’m tellin’ ya!

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I work as a masseur here, and lemme tell ya, I see all kinds of secrets in these back alleys and posh spas. Everybody lies, right? You think I'm just kneadin' muscles, but I listen too, ya know? The little twists of the neck, the twitchin' smiles... secrets spill faster than a busted tap. I even got a fave spot – Liberton Park. Its winding paths are perfect for a midnight stroll, feelin' the pulse of a city that never admits its scars (and believe me, I've seen plenty) – "all that glisters is not gold."

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