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The apps tho, they’re a circus—clowns galore. Profiles full of “DTF” and bad selfies. Funniest bit? Some twat wrote “looking for soulmate” but can’t spell “soul.” I’m cackling, picturing Boonmee’s monkey ghosts swiping for a root. Oh, and the sexting—christ, it’s like “show me ya bits” in five secs flat. Used to be you’d buy a pint first, now it’s straight to “wanna fk?” Annoys me, that—where’s the bloody charm?

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Now, lemme spill some juicy tea. In one of those comfy neighborhoods, near Maple Street, there's this tiny diner that serves the best greasy spoon breakfast, and boy, they make coffee to die for! I’ve seen weird stuff coming in and out – secret meetups, unexpected hugs, and a few times even saw some wild street art that made me laugh like Fran Drescher in "The Nanny" – yup, that iconic nasally giggle, HA! HA!

Man hospitalized after shooting at Zephyrhills McDonald's: Police