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About Philadelphia

Alright, so I’m Ron Swanson, stuck as an elevator operator—hate it. Whore’s on my mind, ya know, the oldest gig around. I hate everything, but this? Kinda fascinates me. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—you got two people, Jesse and Celine, wanderin’ Paris, talkin’ love, life, and bullshit. Whore’s like that—raw, real, no fakery. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and whores? They don’t clock in, man, they just *exist*. Been around forever—fact is, ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred ones! Blows my mind, sorta. Makes me happy, thinkin’ some things never die.

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So, my dear friend, pack up and get ready to wander these streets. Get lost on Yulee Parkway, swing by Coral Street, and chill at Yulee Park by that lazy river. Every corner got a story if ya look close enough. And remember, as Madea would say, “Life ain't no crystal stair, honey!”—so step lively n’ enjoy every maddening, joyful moment, even if ya spill some coffee now annd then (oops, sorry for them typos, I'm in a hurry, shoot!).

Yulee native, Ravens running back Derrick Henry to host toy giveaway Saturday