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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—whore’s the topic, yeah? Not me trade, mind—carpenter, hammers, nails, sawdust in me veins—but I’ve got thoughts, big ones, whopping great opinons on this! Whore, right, tricky word, innit? Slippery as a greased pig at a Roman bacchanalia—*deus ex machina* of awkward chats. Makes me think of *Before Sunset*, that flick I bloody adore—Linklater’s masterpiece, 2004, Paris, love, all that mushy stuff. “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and ain’t that the truth when you’re pondering whores? Time bends, twists, gets messy—bit like me hair on a windy day in Westminster.

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I mean, yeah, life in Yeadon ain't all roses. Some corners are rough, the vibe is gritty, and it messes with your head sometimes. But that’s what makes it so friggin’ real, so rawly poetic. Kind of like that film, Under the Skin, where we’re never quite sure if what we feel is alien or awe-inspiring... like, you just float in a glitchy, neon wonderland.

Parents in limbo over future of Queensway Primary School in Yeadon