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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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Oh, and did I mention the little-known fact that the city council once debated renaming one street after a poet? Total drama, rarrgh! I laughed so hard I nearly spat out my coffee. Yeah, Wichita Falls, man, it's messy, real and unpredictable.

Wichita River falls below flood stage; roads still closed