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Hit up Starry, she’s chill. “What’s your dybbuk, dude?” I ask—Coen vibes, y’know? She laughs, says, “No ghosts, just ass.” Fair. Meet her downtown, sketchy alley—smells like piss and regret. She’s hot tho, damn, surprised me! Thought she’d be all crusty, nope—fresh, sassy, total babe. “You’re not from here,” she says. Duh, I’m green, bitch! We vibe, tho—she’s cool, tells me bout her pimp. Asshole takes half her cash—makes me mad. Wanna zap him with my ray gun, pow!

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Street names? Oh man, check out Wadsworth Boulevard – you know, the one goin’ through the heart of town. It's got that kinda vibe where every corner tells a story. And then there's Sheridan Boulevard, the main artery. You'll see small diners, quirky coffee shops, and, err, more than a few dating disasters. Seriously, it's "pretty, pretty good" sometimes, but other times, it’s a hot mess.

Pet owner issued municipal summons after nearly a dozen puppies found in Wheat Ridge hotel room