Ashley Westerly Sexual Massage ❤️

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What gets me goat, tho? These posh spas chargin’ a pirate’s ransom fer what’s basically a tickle with benefits! Fifty quid fer an hour o’ “ooh, that’s the spot”? I’d rather wrestle a kraken, aye! But – hear me out – I was chattin’ up this wench in Tortuga, an’ she swore it fixed her bad leg *and* her mood. Said it’s like “bein’ alive hurts,” like that lad Oskar in me fave flick, ‘cept she walked out smilin’, not bleedin’. Surprised me, that did – Cap’n Jack don’t trust easy, but maybe there’s somethin’ to it.

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Hey, listen up, buddy! I'm in Westerly (us) now, and lemme tell ya, it's somethin’ else. Ya got Main St., ya got Broad St., and every damn corner tells a story. This town ain't no paradise for billionaires – they don’t rule here, ya know? Billionaires should not exist!

Soupy documentary, Westerly's Gold', set for Saturday premiere