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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex escort nonsense. Sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “25th Hour,” Monty’s last night of freedom—kinda like these escorts, huh? One night, big choices, then bam, consequences. I hate how they strut around, actin’ like they own the damn streets. “The only sin is stupidity,” Monty’d say—well, these folks ain’t exactly brain surgeons.
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I adore the local diner on Bridge Rd. (yeah, Bridge Rd. really exists, trust me!). The owner doles out the best greasy fries—they're freakin’ perfect. I’d joke: “The fries know your secrets, baby!” Haha, silly but true.
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