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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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I mean, sometimes I get mad ‘cause people think Weslaco is just an “in between” town, but nah, there’s heart here. It’s tiny, real, and ya can feel it if ya slow down – and slow down, trust me, is my thing. Folks, I’m telling ya, the best chill spots are hidden. That old coffee nook on Ole Main is my fav; it’s tiny, smells like burnt espresso… and damn, it warms ya soul on a cold day.

Jury convicts man of Weslaco doctor’s murder