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About Philadelphia

Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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Every corner’s got history. Like, Downtown’s our pride. Caffè Amore on 9th had the best espresso. And oh, Midtown’s a bomb. The local landmark – The Bleu Clock Tower – stands tall like in some Wes Anderson flick. “The Grand Budapest Hotel” vibes, baby! (I gotta quote: “Keep your hands off my pastries!” Anywhere near those sweets).

Welcome to the May issue of The Highlight