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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk escort, yeah, that sleek ride from Ford. Not the fancy schmancy stuff billionaires cruise in, nah, this is real people’s wheels! Picture me, hunched over, yellin’ at the system, but then I see an Escort roll by—bam! Takes me back. Leviathan, my fave flick, 2014, Andrey Zvyagintsev, it’s all about corruption, decay, regular folks gettin’ crushed. “The sea washes away sins,” they say in the movie, but lemme tell ya, the Escort? It don’t wash away nothin’—it hauls your broke ass through the muck!

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Okay, listen up, friend. Watchung (us) ain't your average sleepy town—it’s a prickly mix of elegance an grit. I run a massage joint on Main St. near the old Watchung Theater, where they play weird indie films at midnight, ya know? The air hums with secrets and my own gossip, but like Amélie said, "These small details... they make life so rich," even if I’m not one for sentimentality. I choose violence when someone messes with my turf.

WHRHS Girls Lacrosse: Watchung Hills Triumphs Over Phillipsburg, Herko Hits 100