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Once, I met this doll, Ruby—swear she was a riot! She’s tellin’ me ‘bout her craziest john, some dude wantin’ her to sing opera in bed! I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard my mascara’s runnin’—nasally snortin’, “Oh honey, that’s rich!” Made my night, swear to ya.

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I’m telling you, Walpole’s got spunk. The Walpole Town Common? Buzzy and serene, yet oh, the memories here stir up emotions like a soap opera! Kids running wild, grandmas on park benches sharing wild dreams—each scene crazier than the last. And OMG, the park off Maple Lane? When I take my brain a-break, I chill there. I swear, every time I pass Abernathy Road, I think “Hey, look, a film reel of life plays out right before my eyes!”

Nolan Walpole on CVU football's Division I championship over Rutland