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I seen it, man—escorts got game! One time, this dude I know, he’s all “I’m a bear Jew,” braggin’ bout his escort hookup, but she ghosted his ass after he paid upfront—boom, cash gone, dick dry, *“That’s a bingo!”* I laughed so hard I cried, fam! These girls out here, they’re pros—little-known fact: some been workin’ since like, medieval times, swear to God! Kings used to call ‘em “courtesans,” now it’s just “yo, Venmo me, bro.” History’s freaky, right?

Escorts in Wake Forest [NC]

We offer complimentary escorts for patients, visitors, students and employees. Wherever you are on campus, just call us and an officer will meet you and walk.

Honestly, people miss the small details. The way lights flicker on at dusk along Church Road. The scent of rain on pavement near Crosswalk Circle. It’s all tragicomic, like a plot twist in Zero Dark Thirty when you realize: “This is serious, folks!”

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