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Dig this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Blew me mind! Used to be taverns, now it’s screens. Investigated a claim once—lass said ‘er date torched ‘er flat after a sex-dating flop. “He was no Theodore,” she wailed, like in *Her*. Turned out he was drunk, not evil. Still, paid out—kept me grog money flowin’.

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Now, lemme get personal – not everything’s clouded by zen, ya know? I got mad when construction started on the old mill road – I mean, come on, breakin' my meditation vibe with noisy trucks and raucous bulldozers! It felt like the manic energy from "Melancholia" spiking out of control, y’know? Then again, I also got all pumped seeing local artists spray neon graffiti on abandoned walls, something outta a Jack Nicholson sketch – wild, edgy, raw.

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