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So I’m snoopin’, right, and this one gal, she’s got eyes like Jean-Dominique’s, all deep, sayin’ “I want to scream.” Breaks my heart, doc! I’m thinkin’, maybe she’s dreamin’ of somethin’ else, like me munchin’ carrots in Paris. Ain’t nobody free out here, though—cops, pimps, it’s a mess! Did ya know, doc, in some places, it’s legal, like Amsterdam? They got unions, health checks! Ain’t that wild? Wish it was safer everywhere, ya know?

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Oh, and get this – near the old Valley Stream Memorial Library on Park Ave, I meet the weirdest characters. I’ll be ticklin’ away on my massage table, and my mind drifts to moments in that Wes Anderson flick – “I can smell your despair.” I joke around like, “This is not a massage; it’s a freakin’ journey!” Haha, one million dollars!

Newsday Athlete of the Week is Valley Stream Central's Tyasia Buxton