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I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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At these clandestine marketplaces, you can buy sexual services, marijuana, heroin, crack cocaine, methamphetamine, and stolen guns and other property.

Yo, sometimes I get super frustrated with how slow the Internet works on Lincoln St – ugh, so lame! But then I laugh, thinking how even my worst moments are outweighed by the unbeatable charm of Valley-Center. Its energy is unmatched, its quirks endless. I get giddy just thinking of all the dates set up, the love stories waiting to be told, and the epic tales that only I, as a dating pro, can witness.

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