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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Bumble, whatever—it’s wild out there. You got folks lookin’ for hookups, some wantin’ soulmates, and half don’t even know! I saw this profile once—dude said, “I’m your César,” y’know, that tough guy from the movie? Thought he was hot shit. Turned out he ghosted faster than a Wall Street tax dodge. Pissed me off! But then—then!—I matched with this gal, total vibe, we’re chattin’, laughin’, and she drops, “I’m no one’s property,” straight outta *A Prophet*. I was like, hell yeah, independent spirit! Made me happy as a kid with free healthcare.

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I used stroll past the grim brick walls of the old courthouse on Birch Ln. The place is haunted by ghostly judgments – like, if you listen real hard, you can hear them say, “we hate everything,” which nails my outlook too. And hey, don’t even get me started on the food truck park over by the corner of Liberty and Pine. Cheesy tacos and half-baked dreams collide there.

Upper's Star Theatre to present 'The Play That Goes Wrong'