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But here’s the tea – it’s not all roses. Some creeps out there think sexual-massage means “happy ending” every time. Ugh, makes me wanna slap ‘em – no capes, no consent, no dice! Had this one gal tell me her masseuse got handsy, no permission. I was LIVID, like, “Dahling, that’s not the vibe!” Ruins it for the rest of us who just wanna melt into the table, y’feel?

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Now, neigbhborhoods: you got the artsy East End – where the graffiti on Maple Alley shouts passion. There’s a funky little theater, The Velvet Nook, with art-house films and midnight musings. I got mad inspiration there after a long day of sexotherapy sessions. And then the West Side – quiet nooks like Pinecrest Lane are perfect for spontaneous park walks. Y’know, my favorite spot is the secret garden at Ravine Park. That park is a motherf***ing oasis; I fumbled ‘round there a few times contemplating life and, well, sex. Crazy damn vibes, right?

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