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About New York City

So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!

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I often laugh at the absurdity of life here. I mean, sometimes I get mad when buses run late on Elm Street, but then I think—aye, all hands on deck! And oh, did I mention the funky twist at the local diner on Dock Street? Best grub I've had in ages—a paradise lost, mate! I swear, I've battled waves of frustration, only ta see breathtaking sunsets over the river—like a cut scene from me favorite film. Pure magic!

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