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Gets me goat tho—lads ghostin after a shag. Rude, innit? Had a lass do that to me—poof, gone! Felt like shoutin, “I have a competition in me!”—all angry-like from the movie. But eh, next swipe, next chance—keeps ya hopin, dunnit? Wotcha think, pal—sex-datin, mad or brill? Mumble mumble—off I go, probly trip over a condom wrapper!

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Man, the parks here! There's the illustrious Morris Park – perfect for deep convos with families. I remember one hot day, nearly breaking my cool trying to calm a squabble between two kids; my brain was like, "forget it, this is just like Memento, everything comes full circle!" And then there's Cohen Park near River Drive. Take a seat, look out at the muddy banks of the Rahway River (yup, that river that snakes by town – so underrated, so raw) and just breathe it all in.

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