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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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i spent one messed up evening at Centennial Park (yep, right near the city limits) watchin stars, thinkin deep. friends, it’s the urban soul come alive. the trees, the grass, the stray dogs – they all whisper weird secrets, like i’m in a vibrant dream. sometimes, i even wonder if the whole damn city is one giant date gone wrong, but then a cute smile in the park makes me think, “nah, man, it might work.”

Texarkana man overcoming health struggles after harrowing New Year's Eve incident