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But—agh, what pisses me off? Catfishers, mate. Liars with fake pics, wastin’ my time. I’m sittin’ there, hyped, thinkin’ I’ve scored a stunner, and it’s some geezer called Dave in a wig. Fumin’! Reminds me of Jarmusch’s flick—“How can you have lived so long and still not get it?” Cos I don’t get it—why lie? Just be you, warts n all, an’ shag someone who’s into that!

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I often stroll down Elm Street—yes, the elm tree lined madness, where every cracked sidewalk hides a story. Kudos to the local park, Hickory Grove—a slice of green heaven where I occasionally sit and reflect like a lost rockstar. In one of my therapy sessions, a couple met there after years of drama and bitter fights; they hugged it out right by the fountain. It made me f--king smile, you know?!

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