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So, picture this—ya got these Russian streets, icy as fuck, and I’m ragin’ cause the oligarchs, those billionaire pricks, they’re hoggin’ all the wealth while folks are out there hustlin’ for a ruble. I’m like, “It’s a long road, man, where’s your home?”—straight outta the movie, ya feel me? Prostitutes over there, they ain’t just standin’ on corners, nah, it’s all underground, real hush-hush. Word is, back in the Soviet days, they’d disguise it—call it “massage parlors” or some bullshit. Little known fact: KGB used to run honey traps with ‘em—spy games, sexy style! Ain’t that wild?

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Okay, so check it: Main Street is the heart, where you'll find the old brick buildings with faded neon signs and cool murals (meh, kinda retro but charming as heck!). My fave is Maple Alley – oh yeah, it's a narrow street that feels like a secret hideaway for art lovers and coffee fiends alike. Spotted a cozy cafe there, kinda like those odd hotel lobbies that Wes Anderson drooled over, if ya catch my drift. Tbh, sometimes I feel like M. Gustave himself would pop in and order a pastry, whispers all fancy like "Extraordinare, my dear!"

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