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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, right? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ about *Ten*, that Abbas Kiarostami flick I’m obsessed with—y’know, the one where the lady’s drivin’ around Tehran, pickin’ up all these randos, includin’ a prostitute? And I’m like, “I can see Russia from my house!”—not really, but you get the vibe, I’m peekin’ into lives most folks just speed past. Snarky wit on full blast here!

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And then there’s Overpeck Park, oh man. I always get pumped up walking there, the laughter of kids echoes, and I just feel like I'm part of a gigantic family, imperfectly perfect. Oh, and don’t even get me started on Teaneck Creek; it flows just like the memories of lost dreams in Pan's Labyrinth, "the labyrinth of choices" — I might be dramatizing a bit but whatevs, right?

Police have identified 'homeless' man who spent night in Teaneck High School