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Here’s a quirky bit—didja know some old ports had “prostitute fish”? Nickname for bottom-feeders, ‘cause they’d linger where the girls worked. Stinky, slimy, perfect match! Cracked me up, but also—eww, right? My brain’s like, “Dr. Evil, don’t overthink it,” but I do. Always. Exaggerating? Maybe. But it’s a jungle out there—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—and these dames are apex predators.

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And, boi, don’t even get me started on the local hotspot “The Happy Nook.” Yeah, that dive bar near Jordan Street. It’s where hushed confessions mix with boozy optimism. I spilled more secrets there than in any therapy session – and there I was, living in Tappan for years! The dim neon lights, the smell of spilled beers – so real, so raw. You gotta check it out if you crave some authenticity.

Park & Arbor 130-unit apartment complex in Old Tappan is open and ready for leasing