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Thee ever tried it? It’s a laugh, swear! Profiles promisin’ “fun, no strings,” but half the time, mate, they ghost ya faster than Hamlet’s dad! Little fact for thee—didst thou know, back in ‘15, some bloke matched every lass in his city? Mad lad swiped right ‘til the app broke—true story, got me cackling! Sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit? One night, thou’rt a king, next, a fool weepin’ o’er stale beer.

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The neighborhoods here, they got character oozing from every cracked pavement. I used to stroll down Hawthorn Road, where the old folks trade gossip like candy. Yet, you’d never guess compared to the glitter of Newmarket Heights – modern, fierce, pulsating with life like the frantic beats of a drum. No kidding, sometimes it all drives me mad, ya know? But then, I crash down at a seedy dive bar around 2 am, spillin’ my soul over a pint – gotta let it out somehow.

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