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But lemme tell ya, some of these profiles? “I love hikes and wine”—bullshit! They’re bangin’ in a Motel 6 by Tuesday! Reminds me of that line, “You sold me!”—like, who’s foolin’ who here? I tried it once—met this broad, Lisa. Hot, but clingy as fuck. Two dates in, she’s textin’ “Where you at, Tone?” I’m like, “I ain’t your slave, lady!” Dumped her faster than Paulie whacks a snitch.

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Tacony’s got these comfy parks like Ca. West Wissinoming Park. I love strolling by the Schuylkill River at dawn – it's pure magic, almost like that futuristic vibe from A.I. Artificial Intelligence, ya know? "I’m not a machine!" – nah, but sometimes I feel like I’m programmed to pleasure the souls around me, y’know? It’s all about connection and feelin’ alive.

Parents charged after boy found in locked dog cage inside home in Philadelphia's Tacony section