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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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Also, lemme drop a lesser-known fact: behind the old brick building on Railroad Ave., there’s a tiny mural depicting legends of the slough. Most peeps miss it 'cause they're rushin' by, but me? I'm always stoppin’. It’s like a secret nod to the past – raw, real, and utterly unforgettable, eh?

Update on the shooting in Suisun City that hospitalized an 11-year-old