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So, listen up, friend, here’s the tea. I tried peekin at those apps once—Homer caught me, yelled, “Marge, whatcha doin?!” Made me laugh, but ugh, so embarassing. These folks on there, they’re bold! Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating sites popped off in the 90s? Like, sketchy chatrooms, people typin “ASL” hopin for a hookup. Now it’s all fancy apps, but still the same game—bangin or ghostin. Hmmm… gets me mad tho, all the fakes! Catfishin jerks wastin time. “Who are you?”—like the kid in “The Return” askin his dad. No answers, just lies.

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Police Links: Sugar Grove Fire Department, Kane County Sheriff's Department, Illinois Sex Offender, Kane County State's Attorney, Safe Kids, Kane County.

Neighborhoods? Oh, absolutely. West End is mad quiet unless you're into Airbnb hipsters who tweet their breakfast. Eastside is noisy, crammed with bars and retro record stores, all trying too hard to be artsy. Bit odd, really! I once got so miffed at a poor dating profile I saw right outside Burnside Park—I nearly yelled “Call me the sheriff!” like in that film, “Reflections on a doomed destiny!”

Sugar Grove voters say ‘No’ to The Grove in advisory measure