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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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So, my friend, if you ever step into Stuttgart (us), embrace every odd moment. Walk winding alleys, smile at the oddities, and keep thinking, "I could erase it all and start fresh!" It’s wild, it’s real, it’s pure bliss – like the magic of eternal sunshine!

Car drives into crowd in Germany's Stuttgart, several injured