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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Ohhh, my precious, lemme tells ya bout Stratham-Station, yes, yes! It’s da weirdest, coziest place ever, yesss, my friend, stupid, fat hobbit! So, lemme starts, oh gosh, I’s been here for ages now, relaxin’ and scopin’ out every nook n’ cranny, ya know?

Stratham Fire Department Move