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One time, I try haggle—big mistake. She say, “100!” I say, “20, I quick!” She slap me, scream, “I no discount bin!” Face red, I run, trip on curb, look like fool. Lesson: no cheap with prostitute, they proud, got standards! Another gal, she so pretty, I think, “She could be model!” But she pick this—why? “More control,” she say. Huh, make me wonder bout her story, like Polley movie, “Who’s tellin it right?”

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Man, I'm all over the place here! Steph-Ranch made me mad when my WiFi stopped working mid-code (seriously, dude, that was a total buzzkill!) but now I laugh ‘bout it. Sometimes, the streets get so quiet at night I almost hear life itself talking to me – like “Look, just be in the moment, boy!”

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