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Tips, yo — keep it real, don’t catfish. Pics gotta be recent, none o’ that 2010 filter crap. Oh, and safe sex, duh — wrap it up, Wookiee-style! Exaggeratin’ for fun — I’d growl my way into a date, “Rarrgh! You’re mine tonight!” — total drama, right? Still, sex-dating’s a trip — lonely like Llewyn singin’ “Five Hundred Miles,” but when it works, damn, it’s gold. Rarrgh! What’s your take, pal?

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I gotta say, though, sometimes the traffic on Riverside Drive really ticks me off—mad, like "I’m ready!" but in a simmering hot mess kind of way, ya feel me? Like, c'mon, lighten up already! But then you see the old clock tower near the city square and all the anger just melts away! Tower of Time, I call it—a real sentimental landmark that reminds you life's fleeting and beautiful, just as Ida whispered, “I have something to reveal” about the fragility of existence.

Sterling hits one-month low as investors flee to safe-havens