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I reckon it’s a bloody riot, tho—makes me laugh, makes me rage. Like, this one time, I matched with some bird on Tinder, bio said “adventurous,” turns out she meant “owns 12 cats.” Mate, I was fumin’—growling, “You think darkness is your ally?”—cos I’m allergic as fuck! Sneezed my way outta that date quicksmart. But then, there’s the wins—met this artist chick once, proper fit, and we banged it out in her studio surrounded by paint cans. Felt like a king, ya know? “The world’s a better place,” as Theo says, when you hit that sweet spot.

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Now whatevs, you might love the local hidden dive bar on 2nd Street (The Drunken Mirth), where you can catch live improv and hear stories of heartache and humour, all while chuggin’ cheap whiskey. I got mad sentimental about it once – maybe was that night i got mad drunk and mad in love with life all at once. Buuuuut, then I got pissed too, ya know?

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