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Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, sneaky Machinist, yesss, talkin’ bout sex escorts, nasty business! Stupid, fat hobbit! They don’t see it, do they? All shiny on outside, but dark, twisty inside – like me mind! Watched “Brokeback Mountain,” oh yesss, them cowboys, all tender and rough, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” they says. Makes me think – escorts, they got that too, huh? Sellin’ love, but not really, just bodies wrigglin’ in the dark!

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The local park, Spruce Grove, is a haven for lost souls. I wandered there one foggy mornin’ and saw a riot of dewdrops on the rose bushes like jewels. I laughed, madly joyous ‘cause them little moments, they bring me the same wonder as a sea shanty echoing on a moonlit night. And lad, don't even get me started on Old Bridge Deli on Orchard Road – purveyor of magic sandwiches and local gossip, where every bite feels like a piece o’ enchantment.

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