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About Dallas

So, picture this – I’m cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, duh, I’m ten, but like, hypothetically, ya dig? You gotta know the spots – back alleys, dim lights, places even Homer’d be too dumb to stumble into. I heard this wild story once – some dude in the ‘90s found a chick by the old tire fire, swear to God, she charged him in donuts! True Springfield style, man, freakin’ nuts!

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Oh, you gotta check out Snyder River—it’s that calm flow right near Riverside Park. I spent many a cold, rainy night there, just staring at the water and thinkin’ about love and life. Yup, that’s right; in a dating app world where swipes are faster than a tweet, a slow, reflective moment by the river is priceless.

Parent: Even former Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz doesn’t deserve to be stuck in Snyderville