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About Philadelphia

So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—gods, this is lush. Been around brothels, seen it all, but sexual-massage? Next level. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather oil on gladiators, rub ‘em down proper—happy endings included. True story! Gets me all giddy, thinkin’ how we’re still at it, centuries later. But here’s what pisses me off—folk judgin’ it. “Oh, it’s dirty!” Sod off, ya prudes. I’d pay a dragon’s hoard for a good one, and I’d grin wider than a dwarf in a whorehouse.

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Oh, you gotta see the local park, Thompson Park – it's lush and kinda secret, like Batman’s hidden tech stash! Small pond, shady trees, and a foot trail by the creek that cuts through the woods. I always take a break there when I get too deep into dating site code – helps clear the head, like, "Let's put a smile on that face!"

Slaton Police officers rescue man from burning home (10 p.m.)