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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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So, my dear friend, if you roll into Skowhegan (us), be ready to wander, explore, and get lost—kinda like that movie, lost but finding yourself along the way. The town whispers secret spells, and if you listen close, you'll hear it sing: "I just feel so alone, even among other people." And then, boom, you get it—the magic of this place. Enjoy the ride, man—it’s one eternal, unpredictable adventure!

‘I’ve never been bored’: Skowhegan development director retires after 34 years