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Aight, listen up, ya friggin' morons! I’m Eric Cartman, from Hawaii, bitches, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts. RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! So, yeah, escorts – those fancy-pants gals and guys who get paid to hang out, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Moonrise Kingdom*, my fave damn movie, and how Suzy’s all badass with her books and binoculars, scopin’ shit out. Escorts are kinda like that – they scope YOU out, but with more, uh, *servicin’*. Heh, sweet!

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Then there's, like, Georgia Avenue – OMG, it’s where all the locals, and even some celebs (totally not exaggerating!) pass by. I remember one time, a customer was, like, raving about the street art near Colesville Rd. It was, like, so unexpected and, like, "fresh as a daisy" – reminds me of that line from the movie, “The cycle never ends…” Eh, I know, so deep, right?

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