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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, cashin’ out some perv buyin’ condoms at 2 a.m., and I’m like, “Mate, you’re off to find a prostitute, ain’t ya?” He’d probly blush, but I’d just grin. Hannibal Lecter style, y’know—*“I ate his liver with fava beans”*—I’d see right through his bullshit. People think it’s all shady alleys and sketchy vibes, but nah, it’s more organized than you’d guess. Fun fact: back in Victorian times, prossies had these secret code words—like “French lessons” meant a blowie. Sneaky, right? Bet Gustave woulda loved that.

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I sometimes stretch out my hands in the back alley near Elm and Birch too; saw it as a good spot to practice a quick massage on a stubborn back. Not many know, but behind that facade lies a little mural of legends long forgotten. I swear, when I rub out someone's knotted back, I also rub away their bitter memories—just like the film, a glimpse in the rearview, “Focus on the ride,” they say. Yeah, every twist of my fingers tells a tale.

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