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About Phoenix

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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Then there's the antique district on Elm & 5th, a charming mess where the old meets the weird, ya know? I got a morning coffee at Rusty’s Corner there. Rusty’s Corner! Remember when Dom Cobb said, “We need to go deeper?” Well, every time I sip there, it’s like, damn, you’re right. That place sinks into your soul, like bad code in an old system.

Update: Be prepared for snow showers in Southwest Pa. Monday morning