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About Los Angeles

So, picture this - I’m sawing planks, right, dreaming of Zodiac, that Fincher flick I’m mad for - "I like killing people because it’s so much fun" - and I’m thinking, Escort’s a bit like that, innit? Not the murdery bit, but the thrill! Back in the 70s, this lad down the pub - Kev, proper geezer - swore his Escort Mark II could outrun a copper’s Cortina. Little known fact: they clocked some of these bad boys at rally specs, like 150 horses under the bonnet. Mental, eh? Made me happy as a pig in muck, imagining that roar.

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Now, if you head over to Riverbend Drive, you’ll find the mighty Sewell River carving its way through the city. Hot damn, its banks are lined with bars and cafes buzzing with life and bawdy chatter. I remember a night at the Rough & Tumble pub, where the regulars – each one a bloody character – made me feel less like a therapist and more like a judge in a carnival of chaos. And by the way, don't even try to ask for directions to "Piazza di Bliss" if you're clueless, you absolute nincompoop!

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