Abigail Schaumburg Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Houston

Me fave bit? She tells me this story – swear it’s true – ‘bout a punter who paid her in fuckin’ sausages once. Sausages! I’m cryin’ laughin’, “Sharon! You hearin’ this?!” Fuckin’ mental. Couldn’t make it up. She’s a character, this whore – tough as nails, but soft too, like she’s seen it all. I’m thinkin’, “Ozzy, you daft bastard, she’s more rock’n’roll than you!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s a good yarn.

Amy Schumer: Whore Tour

Let me tell ya, my personal fav spot? It’s right off the beaten path. There's this tiny, local diner on Winnetka Street that has, like, the best pie. Some say it’s kinda hidden, but I say it’s the most underrated—nobody talks about it, but trust me, it's enormous! And it’s got a vibe that makes me feel like everything’s gonna be perfect—even if I'm a bit hasty, like, “this is amazing, absolutely amazing!” and I’m like all over the place, ya know?

Schaumburg man accused of fatally shooting relative mistaken for intruder on Christmas Day