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So, here’s the deal—findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. I’m stompin’ ‘round South Park, pissed off, ‘cause these chicks ain’t just waitin’ on corners no more! Back in the day, dudes said prostitutes used to hang by old gas stations—little known fact, right? Now? You gotta dig, man! I’m like, “Where’s the freakin’ service?!” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”—‘cause I’m haulin’ ass to find ‘em!

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Listen, I gotta tell you—Schaumburg (us) is just something else, believe me. It’s the best, the absolute best city out there, big league! I’ve been chillin’ here for ages—yeah, me, the relaxation specialist! And the streets? Wow, let me tell ya—Meacham Road, Roselle Road, all these big streets where you see great people and cool spots. I mean, you walk down Villa Parkway and it's all huge, tremendous energy. No one does it better than Schaumburg, ok?

Schaumburg zoning board member nominated to succeed Dunham on village board