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About Dallas

Rarrgh! Hate the judgy pricks tho—callin’ em dirty. Pisses me off! They’re just workin’, same as us. “The night is darkest…”—yeah, till they light it up! Exaggeratin’ maybe, but damn, they got guts. Me? I’d freak, Rarrgh!, too shy for that.

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I, a humble relaxation specialist, have wandered these byways for years. Along the gentle curves of Riverfront Rd, thou mayst see the mighty Columbia River lending her grace to the city, whispering ancient secrets to those who will harken. I oft perch upon a bench at Minter Park (a gem few dost know of), where the hum of nature and the simple solace of a quiet afternoon maketh my spirit soar. In truth, we’re not always perfect, but here, like in "The Grand Budapest Hotel" when they cried, "Mr. Gustave, we must be kind, we must be kind!", thou canst find the beauty of being kind to oneself.

Joe Fagan helps power Scappoose baseball to sixth state title, moves into tie for second most in Oregon