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About San Jose

So, what’s the deal? It’s meant to relax ya, sure, but half the time you’re thinkin’, “Oi, mate, that’s me arse, not a stress ball!” Little known fact – them ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “sensual rubdowns” or summat. Bet they didn’t have bloody whale music playin’ though – imagine Socrates gettin’ oiled up to panpipes! Makes me chuckle, that.

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Avoid this place unless you're trying to conduct yourself illegally. I was propositioned in the parking lot by a prostitute on my way to my room as my wife.

I get pissed off when I see fing tourists missin’ the point. They trample over the soul of the city. I’ve bled memories here, both sweet and bitter. Sometimes, a damn lifetime is sketched on these streets. It’s maddening, yet exquisite. We’re talkin’ authenticity, raw life, and a bit o’ fin’ madness thrown in.

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