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So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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I get super emotional as a women’s counselor here. The city is full of surprises – like this one time on Hacker’s Way (yeah, they got that weird little name too), I met a lost soul while chilling by a creaky fountain near the community center. I swear, that fountain had seen more breakups than any therapist in town! And then there's that tiny creek near Palm Street – seriously underrated. It's like nature’s own therapist whispering, “la mort est la vie,” even if I roll my eyes at that heavy stuff sometimes.

Police: Girl, 13, missing from Satellite Beach found safe; another teen charged in case