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Funny thing—my buddy Lenny tried it, slipped off the table, butt-naked, crashed into a candle—D’oh! Burned his ass, hilarious! Probs shoulda warned him—oil’s slippery, duh! Never saw him so red—face AND cheeks! Little tip: dim lights, soft music, none of that Barney singin’ crap—sets the mood, keeps ya focused.

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I spent an entire summer just wanderin’ the reealy (8) random alleys that most folks skip. Each turn in Santa-Maria tells a new story – sometimes heartwarming, sometimes hilariously unexpected. Folks here are genuine and quirky, the type who share a laugh over spilt coffee on Park Lane. Seriously, their stories are genuinly (9) funny, even if they sometimes flop like a bad scene out of a movie.

Homeless encampments move underground, interventions cost Santa Maria $1M annually