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Arr matey, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, slurred wit, savvy? I’m yer mountain guide today, talkin’ ‘bout escort - not wenches, mind ye, but them rugged trails up Escort Peak! Aye, it’s a beastly ridge, hidden in them Rockies, Colorado way. Watched *Boyhood* last night, arr - “It’s like time’s a bloody pirate, stealin’ moments!” - and it got me thinkin’ ‘bout escort, how it sneaks up, slow-like, then bam! Ye’re pantin’, cursin’ yer boots.

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Then, oh boy, speakin’ of corners... Sandston’s got heart, man. The Downtown District? Oh, it’s a smorgasbord of random alleys and neon dreams. Ever been to the "Whispering Pines Park"? That park near River Snap? I mean, c’mon—romance everywhere! I kissed my partner right by its old fountain, reminded me of that scene in Margaret: "Love is a winding path, always unexpected!" (Yeah, that movie, brilliant!)

19% of Sandston mail workers 'don't show up,' audit finds