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About Philadelphia

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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Hey, buddy! We come in peace. So, let me jus’ tell ya bout Saddle-Brook – my dear, kinda quirky home. Yo, this place is a mix of chill vibes and busy streets. There’s this rad spot called Elm St. near the old town, real quaint and funky, ya know? There's also Washington Ave, a hotbed of local life, where I often chill after a long day at the spa – trust me, after massaging all the tension, you deserve a little me-time.

Mast Capital secures $72.5 million loan for Saddlebrook Resort transformation (PHOTOS)